I just complain - man, there’s no time like the present
Been feeling pretty reticent, worn out, these days
I’m getting older still - trying hard not to “adult” too much
Let the jade and cynicism touch seep down into my bones

When I think I’ve found some ground, start feeling turned around

Never thought that I’d long for the things that I had before
That shitty old apartment that cold in winter time
Never see what I have until, it’s left me but even still
I wonder, is it all just in my mind?

I’ll try to explain - near at all where my head’s been at
My ego’s left, my heart’s intact - they say that makes me a better man?
I can never tell - trying hard not to lust too much
Quit drinking, that was just a crutch, seems trouble’s who I am

When I think I’m climbing clean, I lose grip and fall rappelling

Never thought that I’d long for the things that I had before
Those nights I got to high I’d try to will you through my door
Never see what I have until it’s left me but even still
I wonder just what I’m longing for

One day you’ll realize - that you are just who you are
All the meditation, conversation with yourself don’t go too far
Me, I’m a lazy one - I like few but I love deep
I don’t care too much for sleep, always found it too routine

On the nights I find my rest, I wake up wondering what I’ve missed